I just found out this month that I no longer have a job with my organization. This came as a shock and will be a financial setback unless I can move into another job without being unemployed for months (or years, like you hear about these days). My company got all they wanted and then slammed the door on me. Even though I don’t really want to talk to anybody about this, I’m trying not to waste any time and have been calling and e-mailing about possible openings. The responses have been cold or non-existent. How can I get employers to pay attention and respond to my calls with so many other people in the same job market?

Deb's Answer:

Weathering the emotional storm of a job loss is one of the most difficult trials an individual is likely to face over the course of a career.

As eager as you are to secure a new position, it sounds like you’re not quite ready to contact people about your potential contributions to their organization. It takes tremendous courage to move from what you have always known to unfamiliar territory. Spend the necessary time to work through a process that will take you from vulnerable to confident in your approach. 

Grieve your loss. You have every right to your feelings; the goal is to work with them so that they don’t work against you. As much as your resentment may be justified, getting stuck in bitterness will damage your efforts to secure new employment. Be sad and outraged; cry it out, stomp it out; stew about it and talk about it until you can begin to let go and reach a willingness to move forward. Only then will you be able to contact potential employers with the assurance that you will represent yourself effectively and be prepared to handle the inevitable setbacks inherent to a job search.

Keep a journal. Incorporating the practice of writing down your reactions can prove particularly healing, especially if you’re not in the mood to talk through your emotions. I’m not referring to “to do” lists for your job search, although they serve a useful but different purpose. I’m talking about freestyle writing, for your eyes only, for 15 minutes each day when you simply allow the anger and frustration, the hopes and fears, and all the new discoveries to spill out on to the page. Tim Johnston kept an online journal of his job loss and search experiences that later became the basis of his book, Diary of a Job Search: One Man’s Journey From Unemployment to a New Career (Ten Speed Press, 2003). He offers practical tips on grappling with the difficulties of starting over after losing a job.

Connect with others. Initially, you may want to pull the blankets over your head and forget the rest of the world. Creating your own space for reflection is healthy and healing. However, isolating yourself indefinitely is self-defeating. So, while you’re under the blankets, define the support you need from others, and consider the people most likely to provide it. Then, when you’re ready, seek out the support you identified. Family and close friends may meet some of your needs, while other needs may be better addressed by people you haven’t even met yet through networking groups or professional associations.

Develop a search strategy. As you work through the emotions and rally support, try to open up to new possibilities. Your new job won’t necessarily look like your old job. Define specifically what you want to contribute to, and receive from, your work. Analyze this carefully because clarity will help to identify the kinds of positions, work settings, and employers most likely to be in alignment with you at this juncture in your career.

This will place you in a much stronger position to put together a specific strategy for your search, create marketing materials and prepare for interviews to effectively represent yourself.

Once you get rolling, be sure to celebrate every little success along the way.